02/21/15

it’s filicological.

oh
fern,
scaley
green spiral
unfurling for 360
million years in quiet
wet forests vivid & outstretched.
they once brushed against the skin
of dinosaurs, ignored as they ran or
walked grazing. then, a 100 mi wide asteroid
struck us. earth dark for countless millennia,
blanketed by dust and death of species but they
survived, when others didn’t. just shrubs armed with
tenacious spores. fractal leaf blossoms peculiar, strong,
and elegant. struck by pteridomania, we encased them in
glass to love and shield from new urban dust that even they
weren’t a match for. so…are we their next catastrophe, that they’ll
again ride out for millennia, outliving us. forever rising, unfolding,

from the ashes?

02/8/15

life is so much better when your throat isn't a festering mess

on Monday i felt good—stressed, but good. my day started early with a conference call, dense with meetings, and ended with me teaching choreography to some others in preparation for the big climate action that was planned for this weekend in Oakland. By the time i was in bed, i was exhausted by the full day while undeniably worried about the things I didn’t get to.

dammit i didn’t respond to that email yet and i didn’t get a chance to check in with **** about that task why can’t i get that blog post done yet that doc has been open for a week now would ***** think it’s rude if i didn’t respond to that DM i just don’t know what to say fuck i think my roommates and i need to sort that issue out but it’s impossible for us to meet in person i have to write a diplomatic email to everyone man i really don’t like my hair right now is getting a haircut for growing it out a thing i haven’t been eating healthy enough i need to make better lunches for myself that conference is coming up i have so much to do for it, for all of it ………….

on Tuesday i woke up feeling, again, like a creaky old lady. My body hurt, my head hurt, my throat hurt. But i had some stressful calls i had to do so i worked all day from bed in wrapped in my down comforter wearing two layers on all my body. my teeth still chattered. It got really bad by the evening—sweats, fever, no appetite, and god awful pain everywhere—it was even worse by the next morning. People close to me thought i was dying and told me to go see my doctor.

“Say ‘ahhh’.”
“Ahhhhhhh~”
She shined a light down my throat and says “Yikes. That’s strep alright.”

She then told me the lymph nodes in my neck were so swollen i might have to get them drained. wut. o_o “I’ll set up an appointment for you at a head and neck specialist tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I’m gonna get you going on antibiotics.” i told her this was the second time i got it in 6 months. “Have you been under some stress lately?”

thankfully the head+neck specialist didn’t need to drain anything nor remove my tonsils (yay) but also asked me about my stress. “y’know, that can have a huge impact on health—not sleeping well, not eating right—it can all add up and do a real number on your immune system.”

yes, fine. i’m stressed. i always have so much to do and so much on my mind. maybe it’s that i wake up every morning and listen to Democracy Now’s war and peace report, a thing i started to do as a way to motivate myself to fix the broken messed up world. i can’t give that up though—the constant hum of indignation that i feel in my bones is a part of who i am. it colors my actions and decision every day to do work that could make the world better, more just, or just make some more goddamn sense.

i don’t know. i think it’s a lot of things i need to reassess about my life, but i’m not gonna stress about my stress. i’m gonna try and stop worrying about things that are out of my control and that aren’t part of my current task at hand. to be more present throughout the day so that i’m still productive, but not wasting my brain-energy fuel on those dumb nagging feelings in a way that’s unhelpful and exhausting. that’s probably a good first step.

02/1/15

bike ride to point bonita

warning: this is a broring photo life update

It was a gorgeous sunny day out on Saturday so we decided to go out for an afternoon bike ride up to Marin, across the big ol’ Golden Gate.

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Tourists were out in droves, but I couldn’t blame em. The Bay looked ridiculously clear and it felt like the kind of summer you earned after a bitter wet winter…which of course we hadn’t. :-|

(null)

On the way back as I was biking back home up Market Street, I was hit by a car. But I was hit very, very slowly. So slowly it was more like I was gently shoved over. The guy immediately got out, apologized profusely and stuck out his ID for me take a photo. I wasn’t hurt at all though, except maybe my road-confidence. Honestly a giant pine cone that fell out of a tree and stuck the same spot earlier that day hurt more and left a bigger bruise.

Anyway, it was a great day and I needed it. I’m expecting Fast Track to get introduced any day now so I knew I had to recharge to get ready to fight.

I’M READY.

(null)

01/26/15

what's the point of modern trade policy?

At my job, a major project has been the fight against the Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement. Specifically, I organize EFF members to oppose the many digital policies that would impact how signatory countries implement laws—the underlying problem being that the negotiating texts are kept secret from the public while it’s overwhelmingly influenced by major corporate interests. So I spend a significant amount of time reading, and watching the politics behind US trade policy, in order to identify opportunities and targets for direct action.

Over the last 3 years or so that I’ve been watching these TPP talks unfold, one of the things that confound me is how proponents—mostly the White House and some Congress members—defend this and other secretly negotiated agreements. The primary argument is that enabling “free trade” and breaking down protectionist barriers will mean job creation and economic growth. Job creation and economic growth…they both sound like wonderful motives, but the implication that this means that more people, in the US, would live more prosperous, stable lives seems to be extremely dubious.

What we should be asking is, what kind of jobs would this lead to? And at what cost? For example, one of the big arguments I hear for the XL Keystone Pipeline is that it would lead to employment of thousands of workers. But first, how permanent are those jobs, will they be paid well, and what are they actually doing to promote a sustainable future? The jobs that project would create are those that would be paying individuals to literally help shove poison into the earth, and into our water. You can’t think about public policy in such a narrow, irrelevant frame as “job creation”, especially if that means nothing more than putting people at work at a task that doesn’t pay well enough for people to live healthy, decent lives.

When I hear that justification for a policy, what it sounds like to me is a more twisted version of trickle down economics. By helping mega-corporations to make more profit (even if it means infringing on people’s rights, even if it means putting peoples’ lives at risk) they can hire more people and spread that wealth all around. That’s just not how this happens though—companies aren’t incentivized to hire more people for the hell of it, because they can. They’ll only do it if it means yielding more or better product, so they can capture even more profit…

Now’s not the time to flesh this out as much as I’d like, but the point I want to get to is the huge deception of modern trade policy. What they, trade delegates, allege is being negotiated for the benefit of their nation, is actually only for the benefit of the wealthy, influential figures in that given nation. That’s why each country is willing to give up flexibilities on other policies as long as the dominant industry gets its deal. For instance, Vietnam may be willing to cave in to worse copyright rules, insisted by mainly Hollywood companies, as long as it gets better access to US’ textile/clothing markets. That isn’t a reflection of what the people of Vietnam want or need, it’s just that of the powerful textile manufacturing industry.

So if other countries agree to more extreme digital policies, it may harm future opportunities for the tech industry to thrive there. The US, in having the most flexible copyright rules, might be the country where starting certain tech businesses might be more conducive, while it forces other countries to worse rules that would prevent such industries to thrive there. Is this the point of trade agreements? I know for sure that they’re now solely there for the purposes of propping up private industry, but is part of the goal, the point, to have countries become more specialized producers for certain products?

01/4/15

art-making is gonna happen, 2015.

Some friends of mine mentioned that this year, they were going to forgo yearly resolutions for aspirations instead—a broad set of ambitions, rather than a set list of objectives. It seems like less pressure, allowing you to be more realistic about what you want to accomplish while forcing you to think more directionally and long-term.

So I’m gonna give it a shot.

The only one I’ll write here for now is…

Work towards becoming a part-time artist.

I want art-making be a more regular part of my life. I kept thinking it was just a matter of making time to sit down and draw, paint, write, etc., but when it came down to do it, it was stressful and awful every time. It had been so long since I did it regularly that I’d come to be creatively constipated, worrying and self-doubting what I was making and what I was trying to “say” with my work.

Finally, I came up with an assignment for myself that lets me make something without getting too caught up with all of that: to make a big 30″ x 40″ painting of a California poppy to put up in my living room shared with my roommates. The subject needs to be non-offensive, decorative, and composed and painting well. It took me three straight hours of hand-wringing to realize that I need to just get in the habit of making, so I can at least get the craft of it feeling natural again.

I’ve only really sketched it out and done a color wash (below) but I’m so excited to keep working on it. :D

poppypainting_phase2

12/7/14

the power of protest theater

I finally made it out to a protest last night in Berkeley over state violence and police brutality, hearing about the march from my fellow dance-flashmobbers. I’m in a group called GUST (Get Up Street Theater), wherein we show up at protests and do one of two dances—one that’s about the environment, and the other that’s related to military industrial complex, state violence, and police brutality.

Our dances—especially in the case of our “Toxic” dance, done to Britney Spears’ top hit song from the early oughts of the same name—is a little bit cutesy. Sometimes it feels like being in a protest cheer leading group. But the point is that it makes onlookers watch, a bit engrossed in the sudden theatrics and the loud music. People put their guard down, which is something most random passerbys don’t do when they see a protest. It lets us get our message across and makes it memorable.

Up until yesterday, I felt that going to a rally, a protest, or a march and doing our dances would make other participants of the general action a little uplifted, inspired, or at the very least, amused. But one of the times we did it last night…it missed the mark. It detracted from the crowd’s collective rhythm of their chants: “I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.” It felt like it added to the impending chaos of that moment when we came upon the headquarters for the Berkeley Police Department. Only a few minutes after we finished the dance, the police began shooting tear gas and the crowd dispersed into a frenzy.

The timing and the use of it matters a ton. Last night, I felt bad that we were detracting from the leaders of the march. It really didn’t help that none of us in GUST are people of color…

[Vine of our dance at the protest]

Despite my misgivings about this particular protest last night, I still believe in the power of theater in direct actions.

Die in at University of Wisconsin-MilwaukeeSolidarity with Ferguson, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Die-In [Source]

Many of the more well-known aspects of these protests is the powerful use of theatrics. Hundreds of people holding their hands up, saying don’t shoot. A die-in in the middle of a busy square or street. Students dragging twin-sized dorm mattresses across campuses to represent the weight of the burden of living in a sexist, misogynist system that doesn’t do enough to take care of rape victims. These convey powerful images that get at the heart of these institutional transgressions. They empower people across state and national boundaries, and maybe just as importantly, they help these protests make the evening news in a way that can cut through the incessant mainstream media’s emphasis on the rioting and violence on the fringes of these larger actions.

What’s exciting about this isn’t just that protest theater has been so effective in these recent demonstrations, it’s also that there’s tons of more room for experimentation.

11/30/14

a collection of readings on Ferguson+racism in the US

When St. Louis County prosecutor, Robert McCulloch, announced that the grand jury would not be indicting officer Darren Wilson for murdering Michael Brown, it was a glaring reminder, or rather, an affirmation, that the justice system is dysfunctional, subjective, and racist.

Map of Nationwide Ferguson Protests

Every time I heard someone whose first reaction is to condemn the rioting, the destruction, and the direct actions that were purposefully disruptive, I’ve made them confront the fact that they’re placing more value on the property that is destroyed over the loss of a human life. No, the loss of hundreds, thousands of lives—black and brown people killed by law enforcement, who get away with it with impunity over and over and over again. Even if rioting is counterproductive, even if it destroys the livelihood of local people, it doesn’t even compare to the atrocity of a system that enables its officials to shoot and kill people and children. It’s a system that discourages and rejects investigations into what happened, who is at fault, and to create a proper remedy that will let families and communities heal and to discourage these murders from happening again.

Our justice system is supposed to be able to resolve conflicts and hold everyone accountable to the same rules, so that people don’t feel the need to take matters into their own hands. When state actors disregard the rules that apply to everyone else, that violates public faith in legal institutions. Which is why cops need to be held accountable more than anyone else—they’re afforded the power to uphold and embody the law. If they don’t even abide by the law themselves, how can the public be expected to respect their authority?

Anyway. I was pretty sick again this week, so I didn’t have the energy to participate in commenting on any of this on Twitter. But I did have the energy to read…and in this past week there has been some of the most thoughtful, heart-wrenching writing and news commentary on racism in America in light of what’s gone down/going down in Ferguson. I’m sure this doesn’t cover it all but I thought I’d compile the ones that helped me, at least, make sense of this all.

Black Lives Matter — Jay Smooth’s New Illipses Video

If there’s one you should read or watch, it’s this one. This is for the people who think that mere destruction of property is remotely as horrifying as people regularly getting murdered by law enforcement. It’s powerfully articulate and gets to the root of the problem of systemic racism. [You can also read a transcript of it]

That unrest we saw Monday night was a byproduct of the injustice that preceded it.
This is not a choice, this is a cause-and-effect relationship. If you’re worried about the effects, you need to be thinking about the cause.
Riots are a thing that human beings do because human beings have limits.
We don’t all have the same limits. For some of us, our human limit is when our favorite team loses a game. For some of us, it’s when our favorite team wins a game.

The people of Ferguson had a different limit than that.


The Parable of the Unjust Judge or: Fear of a Nigger Nation

Black people desperately tried to defend Michael Brown, pointing out that he was a child, that he was gentle, that he never got into any trouble, that he was going to college. If we fail to name the battleground being fought upon, this fight over what narrative to impose on the details of Brown’s life might seem oddly tangential to the argument over the circumstances of his death. So let’s be clear about the stakes of this conflict: we are trying to decide whether or not Michael Brown was a nigger. A dead human being is a tragedy that needs to be investigated and accounted for. A dead nigger doesn’t even need to be mourned, much less its death justified.


NY Times: What Happened in Ferguson?

I still don’t know much about the rules and procedures of grand juries. But it seems that it’s incredibly rare for them to refuse to hand down an indictment. This chart compares a typical grand jury indictment process to the one applied to Darren Wilson’s case.

nytimesindictmentcomparison


Burning Ferguson

Sarah Kendzior, in my opinion, is one of the best journalists out there right now. Her pieces are consistently excellent in teasing out and analyzing the power dynamics of various current events, and she does it again with Ferguson.

These phenomena—white flight, decaying poor neighborhoods, struggles over gentrification—are not unique to St. Louis, but understanding their history has made it especially tragic to watch the black neighborhoods of Ferguson be victimized all over again in recent weeks, losing in many cases, what businesses they did have.
When St. Louis burns, it does not rebuild. All around the region are ruins of what was: rotting homes, shattered windows, empty factories, broken communities. West Florissant’s destruction is not London in 2011 or Seattle in 1999: it is the destruction, possibly permanent, of the resources of the vulnerable.


Today in Tabs: I Will Only Bleed Here

A powerful intro to Bijan Stephens’ piece in This Week in Tabs, his collection of even more powerful commentary on Ferguson.

I am the only black person on the editorial floor at my place of employment. The other ones who look like me work as cleaners or in the mailroom. When we lock eyes I nod, and it is both the easiest and hardest thing in the world. I know nothing of their lives, and yet here we are the same. Today I will do this. We will share a look that encompasses last night’s indignities and acknowledges tomorrow’s. We will keep our heads down and our hearts guarded, and I will only bleed here, in words, on this page.


What white people need to know, and do, after Ferguson

Black communities are ultimately protesting systems of injustice and inequality that structurally help white people while systematically harming black people. Just because you’re white and therefore generally benefit from those systems doesn’t mean you inherently support those systems — or need to defend them. Benefiting from white privilege is automatic. Defending white privilege is a choice.

11/15/14

The Church of Market

we kneel at the Church of Market.
our Holy Purpose is to raise the value of our shares.

faithful are those,
who have sacrificed the earth,
the commons,
our humanity,
at the altar of the Divine Profit.

regulations, are an abomination—

limits on righteous work are the work of the depraved.
they must always be demolished
for the good of the Market.

let us praise the blessed Lords Investors—
which has graced us with the strength to fight such villainy
and let our faith flow through the halls of the State.
one-by-one
we will vanquish these restraints.

let us prevail in this O Divine Profit,
let us prevail.

11/9/14

a spoonful of conference makes my anxieties go down!

Tomorrow, I’m going home to San Francisco. I’ve spent the last four days here in Warsaw, Poland and I came to attend CopyCamp, an internationalconference that brought together advocates, academics, lawyers, and collecting societies to have a multi-sided debate about the state of copyright and its impact on creators and access to knowledge and culture. I gave a talk on Friday about building a transnational peer-to-peer user rights movement, describing my work with the organizations I partner and coordinate with on campaigns on the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement, the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP), and others. People really seemed to like it, and it even got voted as one of the top three best talks of the conference out of the more than 70 presentations. :D

Every time I come to an event like this, where I meet new people working on similar issues, I come away feeling fuzzy, bubbly, and inspired. Cuz the thing is, doing activism can be really disheartening. You’re up against big politically influential entities, and you often can’t see or measure the impact of your daily or even weekly projects. All the time, I question if I’m doing things the right way or the most effectively. I wonder If I’m spending too much time on Twitter, or too little to share current news or conversations. Should I be spending more time studying and learning every legal nuance of copyright policy, or is that counterproductive because it makes me lose sight of the larger discussions, making it harder for me to talk about this stuff in a way that I can get the every day person to understand and to get ‘em riled up?

When I meet others in the copyright activism world, it calms me down about my anxieties. Having even a casual conversation with someone can get me inspired to have more faith in my methods, or to even become curious to challenge them. When I hear a story or find out about some other copyright wackiness that I didn’t know about, it makes me determined to read up about it until I’ve properly filled that gap in my knowledge.

But what I’ve also come to realize in the past few years is that I’m not built to be a lawyer, nor an academic. I’m never going to be sufficiently detailed in my policy knowledge, and I’m actually okay with that. I get excited and energized by looking at the policies, how they affect people’s lives, and to examine the powers as play that have led to them. From there, I can construct the overarching narrative, and share that story with people to get them to care about it as much as I do.

I guess I should’ve known this all along, or maybe I did but forgot for some reason along the way. For some reason, it was during this past week that I’ve come to understand my job and the things I can bring to it. On top of the things I’ve learned, the wonderful/cool/awesome people I’ve met, I feel like this one the best things to come out from this trip. So yeah, that’s pretty cool.